Realizing things about yourself can be like a light bulb being turned on. Theres this instantaneous “Oh!” feeling.
My mother tells me how quiet a baby I was, when I cried. If she was in the next room, she could barely hear me…my cries were so faint.
On report card day, my teachers would often tell my mother how good a student I was, how they wished they had more student’s like me, and would write the word “quiet” on the back of my card.
Classmates & co-workers would use the same word to describe me. Quiet.
I always knew I was a person of few (spoken) words, but it wasn’t until recently that these pieces came together in my mind.
Oh!
Growing up, even though I felt completely comfortable being a quiet person, I didn’t always like being called “quiet”. In my mind, it wasn’t cool; so, I’d try to come up with things to say to contribute to conversations…fill awkward silences…and fit in with the seemingly “effortless talkers”.
“How do they do it?”, I wondered. It didn’t seem like it required as much thought, as I was putting into it. What should I say?…What should I say?…No, that was already said…Okay, Got it!…Say it…Now…
Words would then spew from my mouth & I’d feel relieved that I added something, whether it was meaningful or not. Talking for the sake of talking. It was uncomfortable; sometimes painful & a complete waste of my energy!
Now, I find myself much less concerned about such small things.
Why worry about developing something to say, when you naturally have nothing to say? Why further the discomfort of an awkward silence with superfluous words? Why not take comfort in a group of people who are “natural talkers”. They make it look easy because maybe IT IS easy, for them. It may be who they are.
If you’re a quiet person, be quiet. It’s okay. It’s who you are!
It is who I am.
Yay. Thank you for the post. I am naturally quiet unless I have something to say as well. When I was in second grade, I barely spoke above a whisper. So on game day Fridays, we would play Seven-Up, and I was the one who at the top of my lungs had to say "heads down, thumbs up". It was quite traumatizing to me then, but I think I've gotten over it.
*sigh* nods in agreement ^_^
i can totally relate. some ppl just talk for no reason and that's totally not me and totally drives me crazy. when ppl at my former job called me quite i wanted to tell them i just have nothing to say to you, but if you ask the 20 other ppl in the building that i like they will tell you i am NOT quiet.
also sometimes i think it may be a race thing??? people assume african americans are naturally outspoken, loud, always cracking jokes etc and they meet someone who doesn't fit that mold they just assume your quiet…
I am also a quiet person and I am happy this way because I prefer not saying anything instead of trying to speak for the sake of speaking. It's exhausting and not natural for me. I often see people who end up saying something inappropriate, not funnny, or just offensive because they feel obliged to fill the air with words and I just don't want to be like that.
Plus, with people I get along with I am not quiet and we can talk for hours.
Hey fellow "quiet" ladies:)
It's super cool that you understand/know where I'm coming from with this post. Like most of you have mentioned, I too have no issues talking to people I enjoy being around.
Thanks for reading!
I agree with everything in the post and with all of the comments. It’s not everyone’s desire to be the loudest in the room and I don’t talk over people. My mind, however, is usually going nonstop. I wish I knew how to quiet my mind! I do suppose I’m ok with being “quiet” now, but I do love the poster I’ve seen on Tumblr where Samuel L. Jackson is glaring at the camera while the caption reads…”Call me quiet one more time…” Love it.
Hi Yvette! Thanks for sharing your experience with this! It’s funny…I finished a draft post a few days ago on “over thinking”. Sometimes I have to tell my mind, “Okay, stop.”
I need that Samuel L. image…Sounds hilarious!
I love this post. I’m the same way. I have a couple things to add:
1. A buddy of mine told me about this book and it’s at the top of my reading list. Sounds like you might like it too: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain
2. I came across this pin on pinterest that said “Strangers think I’m quiet. Acquantainces think I”m friendly. My close friends know that I’m totally insane.” This totally describes me! When I’m around people that I feel comfortable with, I’m a complete goofball.
Thanks GG for the book recommendation! I will have to check it out
…& me too on the “silliness”. My family can tell anybody, that I can be quite silly.
Hello! I’m also a quiet person. But I can also be loud and talkative with people I know, too. I also have this thing with group sharing – I have trouble sharing personal things with people at work. Ugh. It’s a bit humiliating at times. ;( Yes, they make it sound sooooo easy, but for me it’s not.
Hey Arvee! I understand.
I remember my first professional position…I barely talked to co-workers, unless it was about work. And, I avoided “water-cooler” huddles like the plague. Ha! Thanks for commenting!!! 
This reminds me so much of my best friend! Except she’s a combination of quiet, shyness and nervousness. We’ve been friends since preschool! While I’m very chatty and outgoing, she is a lot more less, but still friendly. Around me and our other close friends, she talks just as much as the rest of us. But when we introduced to new people, she feels the need to fill in the silences or contribute to conversations so she won’t be labeled quiet. Only, it breaks my heart sometimes because she won’t have the confidence to speak loudly in these group settings so no one will hear her. Same thing when we’re at a restaurant and she needs to get the server’s attention. She’ll assume that she was ignored and I have to remind her that she probably wasn’t heard. Other times, to fill those silences, she’ll fabricate unbelievable stories that only lead to more awkward silence. Usually I end up having to speak up for her or say, “What were you saying?” to the rest of the group so she can finally have a chance to be heard, but I can’t always be there to do this.
I agree that if you’re quiet, that’s fine. Being who you are is beautiful! There’s no need to make things up to avoid being labeled.
a lot less* haha, oops.
Abby, you are a good friend! Thank you for commenting.
Have you tried talking to her about this?